Just how active is "too active"?

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My daughter goes to summer care with the daughter of one of my friends. There is just a little more than a year's difference between the two of them, with my daughter being the older of the two.

My friend had planned to send her child to the same place two or three months ago. Our girls know each other, so she figured that would help her youngster ease into a new situation. Plus, the place is much more affordable than some of the other options.

The first day the girls saw each other, they played together for the whole day. The next day, they played together until lunchtime. After that, my daughter told her younger friend she was tired and wanted to play alone.

She does that sometimes. She always has, so at first, I didn't think much of it. But after the fifth day or so of my daughter wanting "me time" after lunch, I just asked her.

"Why don't you play with Lisa for the whole day?"

"I'd just wanted to play by myself," she said again.

I looked at her for a minute, then said, "Are you sure that's all it is?"

And that's when the truth came out.

"She's just too ... too ... active," my daughter said. "I need a break."

I don't know how I feel about that.

For the past three years, my daughter has participated in T-ball, basketball and volleyball. They are all activities she enjoys, but she doesn't put a whole lot of hustle in any of them. When a coach has had her team run bases or laps in the gym, my daughter always strolls, lollygags and brings up the rear.

Don't get me wrong: I don't care if she's the best on her team, in the top three or even in the top 10. I just want her to try her best.

Back when she first started having P.E. class in school, she told me that the teacher had them run, "And I wasn't the fastest!" she said, and I could tell she was disappointed. When I see her taking her sweet time in sports, I can't help but wonder if she's thinking that if she can't be the best, then she doesn't have to or want to try. And I worry that as she gets older, all those activities she enjoys now will just fall by the wayside as her peers get faster and stronger. But activity is healthy, so I want her to try and I want her to enjoy trying.

And so I wonder: Maybe she needs to spend more time with a "too active" child. Maybe her young friend will encourage her to run more, to try more, and in turn, she will find she enjoys giving activities her all.